In the midst of a storm

Today, as I admitted Abby and Aaron to school, the principal came out to tell me that one of the teacher's had been issued a Quarantine order. My heart raced for a second before asking if the teacher was PCR negative upon start of QO. (Thankfully that was the case).

For that split second, I had to make a decision to take them home or the let them continue their day in school. Such decision are horrible -- on one hand, its like "sending them to slaughter", while on the other hand, keeping them home would mean that I would not be able to get much work done, and it would just be absolutely unsustainable.

I could keep them out them week, but what about the next, and next and next? Interminable.

I pulled Abby and Aaron close to me and gave them a hug while praying the protection of Jesus over their lives. It's these times where surrendering becomes so visceral. And the feeling is sort of like that little frog that rises up within your throat, reminding you that C-19 is so so close to home, no longer someone else's friends situation, and you swallow hard, trying to push down all the worries that come along with it.

What does it mean to be a Christian in such times. I must say I honestly detest anyone not vaccinated, I have very bitter feelings for them, reason being I feel that in times like this, they have chosen to put themselves before the greater community. I know this is very shallow way of looking at this, it can be seen as very one dimensional, and I would be greater condemned by human rights advocates who believe in one's rights, but being a parent of 2 small kids, I cannot help but have my heart hardened towards those who belittle covid, and who would rather not get vaccinated. I find it seriously revolting. But this is a knee jerk reaction and probably not the way God would want me to feel against another.

I struggle with these thoughts of bitterness against these group of people, juxtaposed against my deep need to protect my kids. It is really crazy times, we have so much to deal with, so many thing to almost - be afraid of?

Back to my question on what it means to be a believer in these times? Somedays, I'm almost confused - mind in a daze -- to love those whose opinions differ from me? How do I put that into practice, and incorporate it into my life in the modern day context? I struggle,I admit. I'm still relying on God to teach me how.

And for the rest of today, this week and the whole year, I'm forced to be at a place of constant surrender -- each time a worry arises (and they do many time a day), I whitewash it away and confess that God's plans are ALWAYS good and His mercies endures forever and a day.