When I was faithless, He was faithful

When Mark and I found out that we were expecting baby number 2, just when Abby was 9 months old, we were a bit taken by surprise. Didn't think we would conceive that soon, but I was happy because when I first found out, I knew conceiving wasn't easy and if God was to give me a gift, by all means, we would accept it with open arms.

Mark, was also a little apprehensive, as this would mean when I delivered end of May, Mark would probably have to move back to Singapore for good, as I would need all the support I could get. Abby was starting to reach many milestones and he didn't want to miss any of her growing up.

A little while later, when the excitement had set in, I started to be filled with anxiety. As with Abigail, she was high risk down syndrome and the process of waiting to find out at 24 weeks what that diagnosis was, was very painful for me. I was frightened that with my second, the scans would not be good as well and I would have to go through the entire gamut of emotions and tears again in the process. Termination was never an option with Abigail, but with my second, I found myself not wanting to share so much about it because the less people knew about the pregnancy, the less I had to hide if the situation was not optimal.

Mark and I would pray many nights about my fear and he would always reassure me that it would be ok. As with Abigail, everything turned out fine, despite the reports and fears. I had many times, in the middle of the night and in my alone times, cried out to God transparently about my fears with this pregnancy. To compound the matter, I started to spot quite early on and had to be on progesterone pills to stabilize the pregnancy.

Mark has decided at some point that he would want me to take the Panorama test (NIPT), to allay my fears and to buy me peace of mind. I was agreeable to it since Mark told me it was be better for my mental wellbeing and that I would not have to spend the rest of the pregnancy worrying, and rather, enjoy the weeks.

After the blood draw, I was told results would arrive in 2 weeks and between the wait, I got very anxious. I would switch between faith and then nervously calling up the clinic, hounding them for the results. Both attempts to call the clinic failed as they said that instead of me calling up, they would let me know instead in due time. This made me even more nervous as I felt like I was hanging in limbo,waiting for news which would be almost conclusive.

The schedule which the blood work results would come back to me was unknown but on a Friday night, as I said my prayers and went to bed, I had a dream.

In this dream, I was holding a medical report in my hands and on it was chromosomal numbers. It was a medical report that I did not understand, but as I looked at it, it was as if I had an innate understanding of what those numbers translated to. The string of numbers, which was unfamiliar to me, seemed to tug at some inner subconscious I had, and as I looked at it, I had the ability to interpret it. In my spirit, I knew that these chromosomal reads meant that everything would be OK, that little Enriquez 2 would be fine. Also as I looked further at the report, it said that the gender of the baby would be a male.

As I awoke from the dream, in my half sleepy state, I told Mark about it before he went to work. Little did I know that a few hours later in the afternoon, I would receive an email from my gynae, confirming my dream. She had said that the test results came out fine and that we were having a baby boy. As I read that email, my heart leapt and I rushed out to tell Mark about it. We embraced, both with tears in our eyes, thankful at the news. My mom, who was also around teared, celebrating this with us.

As I took a moment to myself in the bathroom, I started to break down uncontrollably as I felt how gracious the Lord was to me. Faithless as I was, he would not only give me good results, but he would give me a baby boy (what I really wanted for my second). It was another illustration of His Father's heart, giving me more than I could expect or imagine. My praises and gratitude would not be able to adequately convey my gratefulness to Him. Oh how great and faithful the Lord has been to Mark and I. When I was weak, He showed up in His strength. He had given me the dream before the unveiling of the results, to show me that He was fully in control and that He knew every single detail even before the doctors knew. Afterall, He was the one who had knitted together this baby in my womb.

I'm 18 weeks + now and so far, it hasn't been easy. Morning sickness, aches, pain, fatigue, and with all the work travels, it has taken a toll on my physically. But I look forward to the future God has for us as a family, and the destiny He has for the Enriquez-Teo clan.

Mark has decided for our son's name to me Aaron Jude Enriquez. To God be the GLORY.