Talk is cheap, walking out the walk of faith can sometimes not only be painful, but very difficult. It's during the tougher times, when challenges are aplenty, where it necessitates putting faith into action.
When mark and I first found out we were pregnant (3 weeks after our wedding we conceived), we were pleasantly surprised, we had always thought that it would take us some time, considering I'm not in my twenties anymore. And the joke between us was that God was really in a hurry to bring baby Enriquez into this world -- this child must have such a huge destiny for him/her. Thus, it never gave me a wrinkle thinking about the process of the pregnancy. I always thought that it would be almost a walk in the park, pregnancy would be something I would breeze through (being the superwoman I think I am)
However, the journey of carrying a child has taught me so much more about the role of mothers, their sacrifice, and how difficult it can be.
My first trimester was extremely difficult due to the extreme morning sickness and fatigue faced. Also because I had not shared this with my colleagues at work, it was a challenge keeping my energy levels up. However, by the grace of God, that came and went and at the 12 week mark, we were asked to do some test for the baby, to check and rule out genetic abnormalities -- these were routine tests, I didn't think too much about it. However, when the results came back, we were told that little Enriquez had a high risk of down's syndrome, perhaps 3x the risk of someone in my age profile. The doctor encouraged us to go for further testings to investigate this further, and if conclusive, did say that most people end of the termination of pregnancies.
When I heard this, my heart sank, and fear gripped me like a vice. Immediately, I gravitated to the worst case scenario and the days went by where I lost a considerable amount of sleep and weight, mulling over the prognoses. I had decided that I would not want to share this broadly with others, as this was something I needed to take personally to God. I could have shared it with 1-2 people only (not even my parents), and in confidence that they kept me in prayer. Mark, on the other hand, being a lot more "stable" and "faith-filled" than I, took to the news rather well, and constantly encouraged me to trust God, and look to Him -- He had everything in control. And each night before we slept, we would make declarations over this little life inside of me, declaring God's promises and calling out every organ by name, and declaring God's intent over it.
The fear didnt just dissapate like that, some days were good and some days were bad. Some days, i would find myself crying as I got into bed, fearful at what the future would hold for my baby and our family. Some days I would find myself questioning God, His love and His will. It was indeed the test of faith, and only in troubled times can we say that truly we have been tested.
Mark and I decided we would not go ahead with any more test, as the baby was from the Lord. And it was His child. We would not want to go ahead for the more invasive tests that will put me at a risk of miscarriage. God was in total control.
21st week came and went and I was asked to go for a genetic scanning for peace of mind. Since then it would be too late for termination of any sort, I agreed to go. We went to a specialist in this field who carried out this 3rd level ultrasound. I remember shutting out any negative voice in my head as I entered the clinic, ear phones plugged in, only listening to worship songs, not allowing anything to steal my peace. God would give me the courage to go through this test.
An hour and a half later, I came out with a detailed report from the doctor that it looked like baby Enriquez looks just fine and we did not have to worry. As I stepped out of the clinic, my heart was so relieved and as Mark and I celebrated over this, we thanked the Lord profusely for helping us through this time. It had been a trying 3 months for me (and him too) indeed.
in my 29th week of pregnancy, as I type this, I am grateful that God has brought me through. Another 10 more weeks to go before we welcome little Abigail. mark had went on to give her a name when we found out it was a girl, we pray she will embody the wisdom and beauty of Abigal (wife of Nabal) in the bible.
We can't wait to receive her and I know God's destiny for her in so great, He will use her to change a nation! As parents, we are excited to steward God's gift to us!